WHY? WHY? WHY!

❤️👣🐾🐾🐾🐾❤️ 

Some five years ago, Jackie would have a complete meltdown at the front door or windows whenever the local rabbit population decided to make an appearance. Maybe some of you remember those days. Something furry would appear on the lawn, the coonhound alarm system would activate, and peace and quiet would officially be cancelled until further notice.

Jump ahead five years and apparently we’re doing reruns, except this time it’s Red who is completely beside himself. He’s pacing, staring out the window and carrying on like the entire front yard has been invaded.

Naturally, the damn rabbits are back.

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There are literally an abundance of the shitty little things living around here, and they seem to take particular pleasure in sitting about six feet from the front window. I’m convinced they know exactly what they’re doing. Somewhere out there is a rabbit homeowners’ association holding meetings specifically about how to drive the new coonhound insane.

And yes, you may notice I’ve had to zip-tie the chairs together to keep him out of the windowsill. Also, do not judge the window smudges. Window cleaning has moved considerably lower on the priority list now that I’m apparently running a minimum-security correctional facility for a 75-pound idiot.

I keep reminding myself that I’ve been through all of this before with Jackie. Thank you to the pharmaceutical companies for wonderful stress medications… for me, not Red. 😉 And while we’re handing out thank-yous, a special acknowledgement should probably go to the LCBO as well.

UPDATE: NOT EVEN 24 HOURS LATER…

It got worse.

The house is now looking considerably less like something that belongs in this neighbourhood and considerably more like the local crackhouse. We don’t have an HOA, but at this point I’m expecting the neighbours to form one specifically because of me.

The garbage bags are my latest attempt to stop Red from seeing the goddamn ground terrorists. If the bastards aren’t sitting on my front lawn, they’re three doors up, and Red has somehow discovered he can bend his head at an angle that allows him to see around corners.

So now I’ve covered the lower windows to save what’s left of my hearing and sanity. I’m sure the neighbours completely understand why a grown man is covering the front windows of an otherwise respectable home with garbage bags.

It may be 10 a.m. here…but time for Bourbon and tears.

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.

OFF LEASH

Real dogs. Real stories. Considerably less supervision.