How… Just… HOW?

How can this goofball go from getting into absolutely everything to somehow entangling himself in a reusable shopping bag so badly that I eventually had to cut the damn thing off him? I wish I could tell you this was an isolated incident, but apparently Red considers good behaviour more of a suggestion than an actual requirement.

This assclown has also discovered the fabric on the JettaJacks cutting table. Poor Emma now has to physically drag him into my office and politely say, “Could you please do something with this buffoon?” as though I have somehow been issued the owner’s manual she wasn’t given.

And then, just 30 minutes later, this is what I find.

Stretched out in the sunshine, sleeping like he’s spent the afternoon solving world issues instead of stealing fabric, getting himself tangled in shopping bags and generally testing my blood pressure. Look at that face and you’d swear this dog has never done a single thing wrong in his entire life.

Oh… and I’m down TWO TV remotes. TWO! Thank God for Amazon and same-day delivery, because apparently television remotes have become a consumable item in this house.

That’s the thing about dogs. They can drive you completely insane, destroy something you literally just replaced and make you question every decision that brought them into your life, then fall asleep looking so completely innocent that somehow you’re the ___hole for being annoyed with them.

And somehow, the idiot gets away with it every single time. God loves dogs that keep your heart going. ❤️🐾

OFF LEASH

Real dogs. Real stories. Considerably less supervision.