Meet Red: JettaJacks’ Newest Employee. Nobody Approved This.

Apparently, we have a new employee. There was no interview, no résumé was submitted, references were not checked, and we’re fairly certain his previous employer would have described him as having some difficulty with boundaries. Nevertheless, we’d like you to meet Red, the newest four-legged member of JettaJacks & Co.

Red is an American English Coonhound, sometimes called a Redtick Coonhound, and he arrived here by a considerably longer road than most new employees. His story began in Kentucky, where he came from a very difficult situation before eventually making his way north and into rescue. By the time Red entered this chapter of his life, he’d already experienced considerably more than any dog should have to.

Fortunately, Red doesn’t appear particularly interested in spending much time discussing his past. He has things to smell.

The Nose Has Entered the Building

If you’ve never lived with a coonhound, there are a few things you should probably understand. The ears are largely decorative. The nose is in charge.

You may believe you’re taking a coonhound for a walk, but the coonhound understands the arrangement differently. You are simply the individual responsible for holding the other end of the leash while an extensive forensic investigation takes place, often involving evidence completely invisible to the human eye.

A squirrel crossed this trail yesterday? Red knows. A rabbit was standing beside that tree at 3:17 this morning? Red would like the opportunity to review the evidence. Something died somewhere within the county? We apparently need to leave immediately.

This has made Red particularly well suited to his new position at a company that makes dog walking equipment. He is nothing if not committed to product testing.

His Employment Responsibilities Remain Unclear

We haven’t settled on an official job title yet. Director of Field Testing sounds respectable, while Vice President of Squirrel Surveillance is probably more accurate. Head of Fence Perimeter Security was briefly considered, although there was an unfortunate incident involving some excavation beneath said fence that has resulted in management questioning whether this particular department should remain under Red’s supervision.

His probationary review is pending.

What we do know is that Red takes his responsibilities seriously. Harnesses must be walked in, leashes must be pulled from several unexpected angles, and collars need to remain comfortable while the nose travels approximately six inches above the ground for extended periods of time. Apparently every piece of equipment also needs to be tested under the possibility that a groundhog could appear without warning.

We hadn’t included that particular requirement in our original product testing. Red has corrected the oversight.

Living With the Equipment We Make

There’s actually a serious side to having dogs like Red around JettaJacks. It’s very easy to design dog equipment while it’s sitting on a workbench, where the stitching is straight, the hardware sits exactly where you put it and absolutely nothing suddenly lunges toward a rabbit.

Then you put the equipment on an actual dog. That dog reverses direction because something smelled interesting behind you, rolls in something unspeakable and decides halfway through the walk that left is no longer an acceptable direction. That’s when you learn things.

Dogs like Red are one of the reasons we pay so much attention to adjustment, attachment points, hardware and how equipment behaves when a dog is actually moving. A harness isn’t useful simply because it looks beautiful hanging on a display. It has to work with a dog inside it, preferably one who has opinions.

Red has several.

The Other Employee Was Not Consulted

Of course, JettaJacks already had senior canine management in place. Jackie has been here considerably longer and has earned a certain amount of authority around the building, understands the routines, knows where the good sleeping locations are and has completed extensive research into the most efficient methods of supervising humans.

Then Red arrived.

Anyone who has introduced a new dog into an established household knows that the process isn’t simply a matter of putting down another food bowl and ordering a second bed. Dogs need time to figure one another out, routines change, personal space gets negotiated and favourite sleeping locations suddenly become valuable real estate.

Everyone needs a little time to understand how the new arrangement is going to work. We’re still learning, so are they, and that’s perfectly fine.

Red Has Also Been Conducting Independent Research

Some of Red’s research projects have not been authorized by management. There was, for example, the aforementioned investigation beneath the fence, where apparently something of tremendous scientific importance existed on the other side and Red determined that the most efficient method of accessing it was excavation.

Management disagreed.

The resulting repair involved Muskoka stone, several bags of concrete and some language that will not be appearing in The Barkroom. Red has since been introduced to a lure course, which allows him to chase something legally without requiring structural repairs to the property.

This has been considerably more successful. It has also resulted in the occasional sight of a completely exhausted coonhound lying in the yard looking as though someone has removed his batteries. We consider this progress.

Why Introduce Red Here?

The Barkroom isn’t supposed to be just another place where we tell you about things we sell. We want to talk about dogs, and more specifically, real dogs.

Dogs that pull, dogs that escape, dogs that bark at things that aren’t there and dogs that suddenly forget their names because a rabbit moved somewhere in the next postal code. Dogs that come from difficult beginnings and slowly discover that perhaps this particular couch, this particular yard and these particular people aren’t going anywhere.

Those dogs teach us things. Sometimes they teach us about equipment, sometimes they teach us patience, and sometimes they teach us that twenty-two strategically positioned rocks are apparently insufficient to discourage a determined coonhound.

Every once in a while, they also remind us why JettaJacks exists in the first place.

Welcome to JettaJacks, Red

So that’s Red: American English Coonhound, former Kentucky resident, hunter of invisible creatures, inspector of fences, destroyer of afternoon productivity and now, apparently, JettaJacks employee. His compensation package includes meals, treats, walks, a comfortable bed and what management considers a frankly excessive amount of vacation time.

In return, he’ll be helping us test equipment, appearing occasionally in The Barkroom and reminding us that the people designing dog products should probably spend a good portion of their lives actually living with dogs. We think that’s a reasonable arrangement.

Although we’re still not giving him a key to the building. He’d only lose it in the backyard.

---